Breathing and Merry-Go Rounds

“Once the feet are put right, all the rest of him will follow," Aslan says in the book The Lion, The With, and The Wardrobe.  Although he is talking about the statues, I feel as if the words are penetrating my heart.  Not in a bad way like a stabbing pain, but in a way of a lost moment.  Kind of like when you are at the carnival and you almost get to go on the ride, but you got the gate closed right before you got to go. Now you have to wait for the next ride.

You know your turn will come, but you have to be patient and watch other people on the ride right now.  The others ones who are living out their dream, laughing, and experiencing what they have been waiting for.

For the statues, the warmth of Aslan's breath changed them from stone to flesh.  Once the feet were touched with a whisper of his heat, the rest of the body became real.

Oh God, how many days go by without my feet being right?  How many days do I start off without one purpose besides just surviving?  I know deep in my soul that it is not enough to just survive.  That is not what God is calling us to do.  He is calling us to make more with what we have.

A wise and wonderful friend summed it up perfectly in this:

"Do the best that you can with the time and resources you have and then be happy with that."

So instead of being scared that I never will "be enough," I am choosing to change that scared feeling into sacred living because those two words are starting to fit together in my heart.  Hmm..isn't it funny how similar scared and sacred look?

I am going to the best with what I have, and know that my life and time is a sacred calling.

 I will try not to longingly look at those on the merry go round when it is is not my turn because those are not my smiles.  That is not what God has in store for me.

And you know if I did try to get on it, squeezing all of my kids and husband into one of those never quite stable looking contraptions built for two, it would be the one time where the ride gets locked up and I can't get off for over two hours while all the people in line are eating my waffle cake!

So let my feet move for my children, let my love move for my husband, let my life move for Him, let my words move for you...

Please God,start breathing on me....